Buck the poor

I slept too much over the Labor Day weekend, so perhaps I dreamed this. But I swear I read a report by a think tank called Citizens Representing American Policy, which calls for lawmakers in Nevada and across the nation to lower the minimum wage to $1 an hour.

The CRAP report, "Bucking the Poor," states that payroll is one of the major expenses of any business, and "if it can be significantly cut, then all business owners will be millionaires in two or three months at the most."

Restaurant owners are salivating over lowering the minimum wage. They say that minimum wage earners almost never eat out. "These minimum wage earners, many of whom we employ, are just bad for business," said restaurant owner Wendy Wilson. She added, "Lowering their wages will create more wealthy business owners, and rich people, God bless their souls, eat out a lot. This will be good for the restaurant industry."

Ed Brown of the Windfall Manufacturers Association said that lowering the minimum wage will stimulate business and eventually the benefits will trickle down to workers. "In a couple of years, they could be earning $1.15 to $1.25 an hour. That's at least a 15 percent increase."

Dr. Timothy Hudson, from Focus on Wealthy Families, said that lowering the minimum wage is the moral thing to do. "The Bible says, 'The poor will always be with us.' By lowering the minimum wage to a buck, we're implementing the word of God."

The Chamber of Industry said lowering the minimum wage will not affect poor working families. "They're already poor for God's sake," said Sam Stinton. "And if cutting their wages means a new Hummer for me, then I say, let's do it."

The CRAP report noted that the minimum wage used to be $1 an hour in the U.S. back in 1969. "And wasn't the country better off back then?" asked Stinton. "That was the year the Mets won the World Series and Nixon was president. What more could you want?"

Stinton added that with the proliferation of dollar stores, minimum-wage earners will always be able to buy something. "Cheese and cracker snacks are sold for a buck. No one's going to starve if we lower the minimum wage."

It is rumored that the members of the Nevada Legislature who voted against raising the minimum wage this year are jumping on the bandwagon to lower it. A state senator who requested anonymity said, "This will teach the poor a valuable lesson. They'll learn how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, even though they can't afford to buy boots. The ones that survive, they'll thank us."

Note: In 2004, voters in Nevada overwhelmingly passed Question 6, which will change the Nevada Constitution to raise the minimum wage by $1 an hour, if approved by voters again in 2006. Despite strong public support for increasing the minimum wage, Nevada legislators voted against it in the 2005 session. The Progressive Leadership Alliance of Nevada supports raising the minimum wage.

PAUL BROWN IS THE SOUTHERN NEVADA DIRECTOR OF PROGRESSIVE LEADERSHIP ALLIANCE OF NEVADA.