Kiss and break up

IF THERE IS A ROMANTIC-COMEDY HELL, Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson surely stand at the gates waving people in. Not that Fool's Gold is tantamount to eternal suffering in the fiery depths; it's less than two hours long, and much too wet. Its only real sin is not fully exploring the chemistry between Hudson and McConaughey, which is evident in the nanosecond it takes to channel surf past one of USA Network's many broadcastings of How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days.

Actually, that sin would have specifically been committed by director Andy Tennant, who spent seven months re-tooling the screenplay into a customized Hud-Mac vehicle. McConaughey is Ben "Finn" Finnegan, an ex-surf-bum who grew up, sort of, to chase sunken treasure in the Caribbean. On the cusp of divorcing Tess (Hudson) -- who blames him, sort of, for ruining her life with his irresponsible behavior and wild dreams -- Finn and diving buddy Alfonz (Ewan Bremner) find a fragment of a plate with the crest of a Spanish family printed on it. The plate indicates a vast treasure is nearby which Finn and Alfonz would look for right away if a blink-and-you-miss-it accident didn't cause their boat to catch fire and sink while they are underwater.

Now Finn has a way to pay back his substantial debt to former superstar rapper Bigg Bunny (Kevin Hart) and win his way back into Tess' heart, since he finally has a legitimate shot at making a dream come true. Bigg Bunny would rather drop an anchor with Finn tied to it to the sea floor, causing him to miss the deadline for preventing his divorce by 10 seconds. Tess, seething at Finn and the state of Florida for sentencing her to the cruel fate of boating around the world as the steward of a superyacht owned by rich, ascot-wearing Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland), bitches to her lawyer, who reality checks her with, "You married a guy for sex, and then expected him to be smart."

I mean, it is Matthew McConaughey. We get a lingering shirtless torso shot within the first five minutes (with more to come, plus a gratuitous armpit close-up). He can be forgiven, both for his lack of narcissistic self-awareness, and just because he's the dude who said, "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age," in Dazed and Confused. But for all of Tess' pent-up pheromonal longing and all the lingering shots of McConaughey's physique, there's little heat generated when the Finnegans are reunited on Honeycutt's boat and a total fizzle when their bodies finally do smack together.

Tennant sometimes makes Hudson and McConaughey seem more like siblings than lovers, especially when Tess spouts off put downs such as, "Your uselessness is epic." Granted, Tracy and Hepburn had similar chemistry, but when the fare is as light as Fool's Gold, the passion between the principal stars needs to steam from the screen. The search for treasure sure can't sustain the momentum, although along the way McConaughey proves he's ripe for the lead if a screen version of Aquaman ever becomes a reality. He's got great underwater comedic timing, too.

Fool's Gold

Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, Donald Sutherland. Directed by Andy Tennant